Vaginismus

It happens involuntarily. You want to allow closeness — and your body says no. The muscles around the vagina contract, cramp, close off access. Medically, vaginismus is an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles that makes penetration painful or impossible. It is not a failure. It is not a physical defect. It is a protective reflex — and the question is not how you switch it off, but what it is protecting.

Your body closes itself off where intimacy is most vulnerable. Where you would have to open up to let another person in — not just physically, but in an act that demands trust, surrender, and letting go of control. When your body refuses at precisely this point, it has a reason. And that reason deserves to be heard with respect — not with frustration, not with shame, and certainly not with violence against yourself.