Morning Low

The alarm goes off, and before you even open your eyes, it is already there. A heaviness that settles on your chest like wet concrete. No pain, no clearly nameable illness — but a feeling as though you did not sleep through the night, but suffered through it. The thoughts that surface are not those of a new day. They are the remnants of a night in which your unconscious was at work — on topics you push aside during the day.

Medically, the morning low can be explained: cortisol, the stress hormone, reaches its peak in the early morning hours. In people with a depressive tendency, this rhythm is disrupted, the inner clock runs out of sync. But the question that goes deeper is: Why does your system refuse to welcome the new day? What is it about this day — about your life as it currently is — that your organism rejects before it has even begun?