Inner Restlessness and Worry

There is this humming. Not loud, but constant. An engine that never switches off. You lie in bed in the evening, the day is over, nothing is pending — and yet it keeps turning. Thoughts circling you like a swarm of bees. What was. What could be. What you might have forgotten. What could go wrong. What someone might have thought about you. Your heart beats a little too fast, your shoulders are minimally raised, your stomach is in that slightly contracted state you barely notice anymore because it has become normal.

This is not a panic attack. This is not an anxiety disorder in the acute sense — it is what many dismiss as "I'm just a thinker" or "I just tend to worry." A chronic inner restlessness that clings to every topic it can find. Today it's the children. Tomorrow work. The day after, an email you didn't answer immediately. The topics change — the restlessness remains.